Merry Christmas!

A quick post that might make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside 🎄

Dec 23, 2024

Dear lovely readers!

I won’t keep you long today, as I know (if your Substack inbox looks anything like mine) that the last thing you need right now is another long post to read, so I’ll try and keep it brief. I just wanted to wish you all a calm and cosy Christmas and leave a couple of gems here that might help you get through (what can be a very stressful) time of year. 😬

Personally, I’m actually feeling very anxious about the “BIG day”… for various reasons (which I won’t go into right now)… So, I’ve been busy trying to keep calm, give myself plenty of time to rest and prepare – it took me 3 hours last night to wrap just 6 presents, due to needing to take rest breaks to relieve the pain in my spine and ribcage, which (for those who might not know) is one of the many “glorious” symptoms of my autoimmune condition… yay! 🙄 Don’t worry, this post will become jollier imminently.

Now for a bit of Silliness

I’ve been enjoying

Kate Campbell

’s beautiful digital Advent Calendar throughout December and one of her little challenges was to write a Limerick. Sorry, if you’ve already seen this, as I’m delighted to say it’s been doing the rounds 👏 which made me very happy indeed. 🥰 I was ill (again) at the time of writing and here it is:

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"There was an old woman called Eva
She’s sick again, would you believe ‘er
She farts when she coughs
Which frightens the moths
She’s just glad her piss didn’t leave ‘er"

You’re welcome! 😉🤣

In other news

Amongst other seasonal pressures, is this little thing called “Winter Wonderland” that if you don’t take your kids to (at the very least a local alternative), you are deemed a bad parent/arsehole for “ruining their Christmas fun” 🙄 So, along with every other fucker, we fell prey to this eye-wateringly expensive Christmas tradition… but not the London one, oh no we were clever, we went to a smaller, less crazy version of hell-on-earth-disguised-as-twinkly-fluffy-Christmassy fun and watched our money disappear faster than shit off a shovel! 🫣

However, this was made slightly more bearable thanks to the hilariously funny ENORMOUS knob-shaped frying pan handles at the Bratwurst stall… 🤣

A moment of refection

The school nativity (in which my daughter had the role of: “Stable” – that’s one for the books🤣) was surprisingly delightful this year and I have to say, I was very pleasantly surprised to see ALL of the audience actually watching the children’s cute little adaptation of the Christmas story… with their EYEBALLS! Not through a sea of mobile phones as you might expect in this current age of technological overload. It was truly wonderful and heart-warming to watch and got me feeling all fuzzy and Christmas spirity! 🥰 Horraaaaa! 😆

One Christmas nugget from me – Gift bags!

Seriously THE best and most life changing Christmas “hack” I allowed myself to start doing two years ago. Any presents that are going to extended family, anyone outside of your house, or even some of the people in your house… Stuff them in a gift bag and crinkle a piece of red/silver/gold tissue paper over the top of them to hide them from immediate reveal. Done! 🥳 Such a time/stress saving way to “wrap” and they still look pretty, are easier to carry to the car/on the train, etc… AND you’ll be doing your bit for the planet too! Win win 👍

Guilt and Perfection

Now is not the time to go deeply into this one, as I did promise I would keep this short, but can I just say to anyone feeling the pull of guilt, people pleasing tendencies and a need to make everything “perfect” for Christmas… In the nicest possible way… Calm the fuck down!! It’s ONE day! Relax, try to take time out to breathe and gather your brain back together, delegate your arse off and remember that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT!! Channel your inner Sloth and remind yourself that the people who really matter will still love you even if your turkey ends up dryer than nun’s noonny, or your potatoes are as limp as old man’s penis! Whatever happens, you’ll look back on the day and wonder why you got yourself in such a flap… so don’t! Relax, try to notice those little moments of magic and just BE.♥️

If you would like some actual practical advice on how to cope with this “magical” season, do have a look at this wonderful article from

Kate Harvey

… If you’re going to read just ONE article (apart from mine obviously 😉)… THIS is the one you need! Trust me, it’s FAB!