A Great Little Book Review

'Tender' by Penny Wincer

Dear Readers,

I felt moved to share my thoughts and opinions on this fabulous book, written by author and writing coach

Penny Wincer

. Penny has built a wonderful online business offering a variety of coaching, workshops and retreats to writers. She also provides deeply supportive and generous advice to those trying to get to grips with the enormous task of writing a non-fiction book proposal.

Penny also writes on Substack and has a Publication and a podcast called “Not Too Busy To Write”, where she has conversations with a variety of other authors, discussing writing, publishing and juggling demands such as motherhood, caring and other paid work. I’ve attached her latest episode below.

‘Tender’ by Penny Wincer

I’m not quite sure how I came across Penny’s inspirational book, but I’m so glad I did. Penny’s story is hugely touching, eye-opening and life-affirming. I love how she weaves in the stories of other’s experiences of caring for children with disabilities, whilst also allowing herself to tell her own complex and fascinating story in a refreshing and honest way. Penny doesn’t shy away from the truth of the shocking statistics and stories of the (often horrendous) treatment of parents and families with children with disabilities.

I found myself relating hugely to the anger and frustration Penny expresses at times, towards hearing the heart-breaking stories of families finding themselves in financial crisis. This is due to certain therapies/treatments not being covered on medical insurance (in the US) and the: “private therapy market feeding off the fears and worries of parents willing to bankrupt themselves to chase developmental milestones”

It was also interesting to learn of “Human Giver Syndrome” – a phrase coined as such by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, who have written a book called “Burnout”. Apparently, carers often experience this syndrome, due to the belief that they: “have a moral obligation to prioritise being pretty, happy, calm, generous and attentive to the needs of others, above everything else”. This then adds to their already growing mound of guilt if they “dare” to consider their own needs.

Reading this book was a huge eye-opener for me, as I learned of the demands placed on the lives of people unexpectedly finding themselves caring for their loved ones. It hit me how easily this could happen to any of us and how we too often (wrongly) perceive this prospect to be: “the worst thing that could happen”. My mind and my heart have been warmed and opened to the fact that this is indeed far from the reality. ❤️

P.s. If my fabulous review has made you want to take a hop skip and jump to order this book - support local bookshops (and me 😉) and use THIS link. 🙏